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Walmart + Twitter + Google Voice = Comedy

No matter how many people complain about Walmart, the parking lot is always packed when I go there. I always seem to wait in line at the checkout. Their stores are popping up everywhere. So instead of complaining, I'd like to propose a social experiment.

My wife and I are a big fan of people watching. Not creepy people watching behind bushes aided by binoculars. It's entertaining to simply be aware of the diversity of humans that we encounter. A prime location for interesting specimens seems to be Walmart. Inspired by a recent tweet of mine that described someone I saw walking into Walmart as I was walking out, I would like to see other people get involved. Here is my proposal:

  1. For those of you on Twitter, I would like to propose a new hashtag: #wms When you experience a new Walmart Sighting, simply update your status, being sure to add #wms to the end of it. This will ensure that it shows up for others when they search for it.
  2. For those of you who fancy your feed reader, subscribe to the RSS feed I have created for the above Twitter search. Here's a link. After subscribing, you should begin to receive updates when people tweet with the Walmart Sighting hashtag.
  3. For those of you who cannot restrict your sighting report to a mere 140 characters, I would like you to call me. As a former Grand Central user, I am now the proud owner of a fancy new Google Voice account. Click the button below to leave me a voicemail describing what you've seen at Walmart. (Upon clicking the button, it will ask you to enter your name and phone number. I won't spam your number. Promise.) The best voicemail messages will be posted on this blog periodically.

So there you have it. My three-pronged approach to adding a little humor to the world. Stop being so depressed about the stock market, and start letting us know about the freak shows that you've spotted at Walmart.

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Filed under  //   funny   google voice   shopping   twitter   walmart  
Posted April 4, 2009
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Help Save Indie Entrepreneurs!

If you've ever been looking for the perfect unique gift for a friend or family member, chances are you've poked around at Etsy.com. If you haven't heard of it, this is a website where regular folk like you and me can sell handmade items. They've got everything from clothing to ceramics. It's filled with stuff that you won't find in the aisles of your local Walmart. (Translation: you will not risk being trampled to death while shopping on Etsy.com) If you've got a niece or nephew, this is an amazing place to find some cool handmade toys as well.

So you can imagine that I was pretty peeved when I received an email from a friend about the potential financial burden for small businesses and individuals who sell stuff like this. If you remember back to the 2007 toy fiasco when toys from China contained harmful parts and pieces and lead and all that jazz. Well, in typical big-government fashion, there are some laws that are about to be passed that: 
mandates third party testing and certification, and requires manufacturers of all goods for children under the age of 12, to permanently label each item with a date and batch number. (source: change.org)

I'm not saying that unsafe toys should be sold. These laws are GREAT for large corporations and manufacturers who have the resources for this sort of stuff. But to require the same level of testing and certification and fees of a simple mom-and-pop merchant on Etsy.com, or Ebay.com, or any other innovative seller-driven marketplace? Ridiculous.

Watch the video from a small business owner trying to spread the word:

If this gets you all fired up, please go vote in support of small business at Change.org.

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Filed under  //   help   shopping   toys  
Posted January 9, 2009
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Arizona Man Diagnosed With Anxiety Disorder After Visit to Walmart

I just got home from a last-minute shopping trip. To Walmart. Actually, I went to two different Walmart stores because the first one didn't have what I was looking for. They were both completely out of control. (To clarify, I wasn't looking for control at Walmart; this is merely a description of the atmosphere.)

I cannot believe how busy these places were with only three days left before the biggest gift-exchange-related pagan holiday of the year. C'mon people! Didn't you get it out of your systems on Black Friday. Or Cyber Monday. Or Buyers'-Remorse Tuesday? Or Return-it-for-a-larger-size Wednesday?

I feel really bad for this Walmart employee. Trampled to Death. Yes - to death. Like when pirates and vikings ruled the earth. Did anyone else see this on the news a few weeks ago? Ridiculous, people.

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Filed under  //   holiday   shopping   stress   walmart  
Posted December 22, 2008
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