Getting Old is the Pits
It's official: I am an old fart. I may as well check into a nursing home and have someone pre-chew my food for me, and change my diapers. It's 11:30 pm on New Years' Eve, and I'm going to bed. My day has been spent inside my home, except for the few minutes it took me to run down to the mail box. I watched way too much TV, ate some popcorn, did some laundry, ate some more popcorn, read some emails, ate pizza and sugar-free licorice, got gas from the pizza, popcorn, and sugar-free licorice, and tended to the needs of my sick wife.
If that weren't enough excitement for 24 hours, I also found a website with a downloadable pattern to sew my own Snuggie instead of paying the excessive $19.95 plus $7.95 shipping and handling. For those of you not keen to the latest "As Seen on TV" sensation that is sweeping the nation, here is a video to whet your appetite for comfort that knows no bounderies:
Some say that this is a direct ripoff of The Slanket. I'll let you be the judge:
I don't care who invented it. I just know I need one. I need to look like a Benedictine Monk while watching Matlock, The Price is Right, and Wheel of Fortune. I need something to cover my arms when I am roasting marshmallows with the neighborhood youngsters. But mostly I need it because I'm feeling a draft, and I can't afford to turn the heat on until my next Social Security check arrives.
Good night, 2008.
