Graduating in a Month. Time to Say Thank You. (Part 1)

In approximately five weeks, I will be a graduate of Arizona State University with a degree in Human Nutrition.

I'm not sure what to make of this just yet. It has been a long and winding road. A road that I have been on since 2002. (Yes, math majors - that's 7 years. Feel free to giggle.) Between getting married and working full-time and working part-time and riding my scooter and playing Beatles Rock Band, I have managed to finally finish the first leg of my educational journey. (Stay tuned next year as our hero takes the MCAT and is accepted to medical school!)

Like many college students these days, I started out at a community college before transferring to ASU. In some ways I wish I hadn't done this, but I am definitely glad that I wasn't spending University-level tuition as I was figuring out what degree I wanted to pursue.

There are several people who have shaped my ASU experience. Before I toss my cap, I wanted to thank them. Instead of doing this in one fell swoop, I think I'll space it out over a few posts. Kind of like a really long Oscar Acceptance Speech. Except I'm not wearing a slinky dress with a plunging neckline. And you can't cue the orchestra music to drown me out.

First and foremost on the list is my incredible wife. Webster has not created enough words for me to thank her. She has endured much while I have been in school. She has always enabled me to put school first - even if it has meant several lonely nights (for her) as I have tried to focus my bleeding eyes on a research paper.

She has helped me to have a balanced life. She has made me laugh. She has wiped my (NaCl+H₂O)-soaked face during two semesters of Organic Chemistry. She calmed my sound waves and smoothed out my friction forces through two semesters of Physics. She has believed in me when I haven't. She has pushed me when I wanted to sit. I owe a lot to her.

Sometimes I wonder how and why she puts up with me. And then I remember that I am incredibly good looking, and that I am also more hilarious than the love-child of Conan O'Brian and Amy Poehler.

But seriously, Jenny. I love you. [insert Nacho Libre accent] You are the best. Big hug. Little kiss. Big kiss. Big hug. Little hug. Little kiss.

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If You've Never Been Serenaded by a Pepperoni, Here's Your Chance

I saw this commercial this morning and nearly fell off the couch laughing. The singing is top notch, and their facial expressions are even better.

Enjoy:

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It's Go Time, Kids. This Video Is Strictly Business.

My brother is in town from New York. We've been pretty busy.

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Looks like my nephew found the clock app on my iPod

My nephew Brody is a sneaky little booger.

     

Even though I've installed several toddler-friendly games on my iPod Touch for him to enjoy, he always seems to stray.

It's always a joy to wipe his grubby fingerprints from the screen after he begrudgingly hands back "Uncle Alan's game." It's even more entertaining to find out what he has managed to discover while my back was turned.

I opened up the clock app last night to use the stopwatch. You can imagine my surprise to find that it had been running for over 1400 hours straight. No wonder my battery life sucked.

Pesky little nephew. Love him to death.

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May I Introduce You To Mrs. Weasley

I've been married for more than seven years to my best friend. Up until a few weeks ago, I have been the only one in the house who has been blogging. And though she has put up a good fight, my wonderful wife has decided to give in to the pressure.

To make it easier on her, I've set her up with a blog here at Posterous.com. I even got all nerdy-crazy and customized the site layout to reflect her recently-acquired love of books. (She's read about 40 books since last August. Including the highly-overrated Story of Edgar Sawtelle. Thanks for nothing, Oprah Book Club.)

You see, she's not a big fan of computers. In fact, she hates them. With a red-headed passion. (Unless it involves harvesting her Farmville blueberries until the wee hours of the morning.) She stopped complaining about our collection of Mac computers after she read somewhere that John Krazinski loves Apple products. But despite her adoration of all-things-Jim-Halpert, this did little to soften her heart towards technology. I'm hoping that Posterous' super-easy blogging tools will be a good fit for her, because I am seriously looking forward to "[reading] the words that are coming out of [her] mouth."

Although she is not nearly as funny (or humble) as I am, her bones and brain tissue are filled with much hilarity. (And yes, Frau. Thems is fighting words.)

She originally wanted the site to be called The Angry Elf. While this seemed a good fit due to her 5'2" height, it was replaced last night with Mrs. Weasley. Ever since I read all seven of the Harry Potter books this summer, I have been affectionately calling her "Weasley," because of her flowing red hair and 1.3e7 freckles.

And so it is my pleasure to introduce the world to Mrs. Weasley.

(I love you, Jenny. Good luck out there.)

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Teachin' The Kiddies How To Be Healthy

                     

This is how I've been spending my Thursday mornings for the past three weeks. Playing "Chef Alan" for the Kids Club at the Superstition Springs Mall in Mesa, AZ. I'm teaching them about food and good nutrition. It's a lot of fun. My nephew, Brody is in the first picture. Kudos to meine Mutter for making my Chef Alan hat.

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Es tut mir Leid. Ich hab' keine Zeit

ALAN: Do you think your parents would let me borrow that piano keyboard they have?

JENNY: Why?

ALAN: Because I want to learn how to play the piano.

JENNY: No. You don't have time to learn how to play the piano.

ALAN: Sure I do.

JENNY: If you have time to play the piano, then you have time to mop the floor.

ALAN: I don't have time to mop the floor.

JENNY: Why?

ALAN: Because I'm too busy playing the piano.

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17 Declarations Direct from Deutschland For My Journalism Peeps

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Taking Notes Like a Superstar This Semester

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Rejected By Amazon: It's My Tight Party, And I'll Cry if I Want To

The top five winners of the recent Amazon.com commercial contest were announced today. The video that my brother and I submitted was, sadly, not chosen.

Oh well. At least I got to keep the tight-fitting camouflage pouch shorts.

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