If the Stars Align, @HotelBalderdash Will Soon Be Taking Reservations

These past couple of days have been exhausting. My brother and I have been busy filming a promo for a television show. It's called Hotel Balderdash. This isn't a new show - it's a revival of one of the most popular kid's television shows back in the day. And when it gets picked up, it's gonna be amazing.

I don't know how many details I can share right now. If you would like to stay informed, you can follow Hotel Balderdash on Twitter.

Here's some pictures to whet yer whistle.

         

A Brief Conversation With My Nephew

               

What a smart little kid. (With an unusually large head.)

Shot Down In a Blaze of Glory, But I'm Not Dead Yet.

I'm concerned. This was much too fast for a government agency to operate. Maybe it's a hoax. Allow me to explain.

I submitted my application yesterday afternoon at 2:00 PM for a job as a Nutritionist with Pinal County. At 10:55 AM this morning, I received a response. That's less than 24 hours! Wowza!

Squeeze out a little tear with me as you read what they had to say:

Dear Alan Bradford,

Thank you for applying for the Nutritionist position in the (2739) Public Health District Department. Please be aware that we have received applications from a number of candidates whose background, skills and experience, represent a better match for our specific requirements.

We appreciate your interest in employment with Pinal County and we hope you continue viewing our Employment Opportunities website for future vacancies that you may qualify for.

Sincerely,
Pinal County Human Resources

I would like to meet these other "candidates whose background, skills and experience, represent a better match for [their] specific requirements." Perhaps we could meet for lunch. I promise I'll be friendly. And I'll order something healthy. Like a salad. I just want to know what was missing from my resume.

Undaunted, I have applied for another position with a company called Adelante Healthcare. Their motto is Sustainable Health Care for Everyone. It looks like a really cool company. They started 30 years ago as a group of health care professionals who wanted to offer health services to rural farm workers. Now they operate multiple community health centers across the valley.

Hopefully they at least give me a chance to interview.

Just applied for a nutritionist job with @PinalCounty WIC. Wish me luck.

Well kids, it's official. I've been thrown into the real world. No more pencils, no more books. No more teacher's dirty looks.

Why I'm Glad I Don't Have a 12-year-old Daughter

For anyone who has needed a pair of scissors to open a new pair of scissors, you will appreciate the following gift-opening analysis provided by Mint.com.

Restaurants Use Menu Psychology to Entice Diners - NYTimes.com

This Christmas Song Is So Sugary, It Cures Diabetic Insulin Shock

Santa's Elves delivered a copy of this song to my home yesterday. It was written and composed by my brother and his wife.

If you're deep in the dregs of a holiday depression, I encourage you to brew a mug of cocoa, shake the blues out of that Snuggie, and enjoy the recently released music video, courtesy of my other brother.

I'm Done With School at ASU. Take My Poll and Enjoy a Holiday Money-saving Tip.

I never thought this day would come. And now it's here. I took my last exam this morning. I turned in my final assignment this afternoon. I graduate next week. I am waiting for the postpartum depression to set in. Maybe you could help me out. Please take my poll.

After you're done taking the poll, enjoy this money-saving tip.

Graduating in a Month. Time to Say Thank You. (Part 1)

In approximately five weeks, I will be a graduate of Arizona State University with a degree in Human Nutrition.

I'm not sure what to make of this just yet. It has been a long and winding road. A road that I have been on since 2002. (Yes, math majors - that's 7 years. Feel free to giggle.) Between getting married and working full-time and working part-time and riding my scooter and playing Beatles Rock Band, I have managed to finally finish the first leg of my educational journey. (Stay tuned next year as our hero takes the MCAT and is accepted to medical school!)

Like many college students these days, I started out at a community college before transferring to ASU. In some ways I wish I hadn't done this, but I am definitely glad that I wasn't spending University-level tuition as I was figuring out what degree I wanted to pursue.

There are several people who have shaped my ASU experience. Before I toss my cap, I wanted to thank them. Instead of doing this in one fell swoop, I think I'll space it out over a few posts. Kind of like a really long Oscar Acceptance Speech. Except I'm not wearing a slinky dress with a plunging neckline. And you can't cue the orchestra music to drown me out.

First and foremost on the list is my incredible wife. Webster has not created enough words for me to thank her. She has endured much while I have been in school. She has always enabled me to put school first - even if it has meant several lonely nights (for her) as I have tried to focus my bleeding eyes on a research paper.

She has helped me to have a balanced life. She has made me laugh. She has wiped my (NaCl+H₂O)-soaked face during two semesters of Organic Chemistry. She calmed my sound waves and smoothed out my friction forces through two semesters of Physics. She has believed in me when I haven't. She has pushed me when I wanted to sit. I owe a lot to her.

Sometimes I wonder how and why she puts up with me. And then I remember that I am incredibly good looking, and that I am also more hilarious than the love-child of Conan O'Brian and Amy Poehler.

But seriously, Jenny. I love you. [insert Nacho Libre accent] You are the best. Big hug. Little kiss. Big kiss. Big hug. Little hug. Little kiss.

If You've Never Been Serenaded by a Pepperoni, Here's Your Chance

I saw this commercial this morning and nearly fell off the couch laughing. The singing is top notch, and their facial expressions are even better.

Enjoy: